Hoagland's Enterprise

Oooooggaaa-boooogggaaaaa Richard Hoagland's "Enterprise Mission" seems to have been quite a profitable enterprise for him. Maybe it's just our 'sour grapes' that he can create a silk purse out of a sow's ear and that people like him continue to make money creating fear for the gullible. Ain't it amazing?

Hoagland says there are monuments on Mars created by alien beings who (which?) came to Earth. He also claims that the Masons are inheritors of some secret knowledge from these Martian aliens! This alone may be all you need to know in order to decide that you need go no further into his bizarre theories. 

As one whose 'enterprising' theories about Mars are now rapidly evaporating with each additional NASA mission to map the 'red planet', Mr. Hoagland - needing attention to keep his 'business of fear' going - has taken the horrid events of 9/11/2001 and used them to build yet another venue for book sales and public speaking fees. 

Let's start with the 'Face on Mars' foolishness first: Mr. Hoagland has used the web as well as a great many talk-show venues to push his claim of a connection between Martians and Masons. His "Enterprise Mission" website is replete with explanations and amplifications of his bizarre theories. He charges that the U.S. National Aeronautics & Space Agency (NASA) is a front for these secret Mars-Masonic connections.  On what basis? Well, he says that the Agency is run by Masons and buttresses this claim with one single piece of evidence: the son of the head of the Scottish Rite Southern Jurisdiction is a Senior NASA administrator - not THE NASA Administrator, mind you, but just one of a dozen senior executives. Like all anti-Masons who claim that the Masons run this organization or that (government, police, judiciary, or  whatever....), he fails to identify any others from which a statistically relevant conclusion could even be considered nor does he produce any other proof that Masons rule NASA! (Clearly the Masons run NASA, the CIA, and the local hotel chain but it's a secret - or so the claim is made....)

Debunking hoaxes like HoaglandResponding, the Skeptical Inquirer magazine had a cover story on the claims of Hoagland (see below) and others who see 'faces' on a far-away planet. NASA has for years studiously ignored Hoagland's fantasies thereby further fueling his outlandish claims. In fact, NASA actually invited him to speak there once at one of their 'Meeting the Public' events designed to expose employees of all ranks to the questions, concerns and thoughts of private citizens. On that basis, Hoagland now often claims to be an 'Advisor' to NASA! Amazing, isn't it?

There's much we could write about Richard Hoagland's bizarre 'men from Mars' theories. However, others have done quite well debunking his various claims:
bullet His ideas about quantum physics - something few of us understand in even its most rudimentary fashion - have been soundly refuted by - of course - a quantum physicist! You can read it here
bulletWith facts in hand from recent space missions, it must have been those conspiracy-minded Masons at NASA who created a VERY amusing web page replete with cartoons showing little astronauts laughing at the 'face' upon which Hoagland has built his 'enterprise'. It's a riot and you really should visit it here.
bulletSkeptical Inquirer magazine has long snickered at the claims of the imagined 'faces' on Mars being anything more than a geological phenomena. Their 1985 article is online here. In 1997, in an article about the Hale-Bopp Comet, they referred to Mr. Hoagland as a "fringe writer" and in another article (about the supposed 'Bible Code') that same year, they took Hoagland's numbers theory to task. In their 1999 debunking of the Fox television network's presentation of how aliens built the pyramids, Mr. Hoagland's theories are again held up to scrutiny/ridicule.
 
bullet In October 2000, skeptic Gary Posner totally defrocked Hoagland's claims. His article is on his own web page which you can find here (a must read!). It also contains some very humorous links about other Hoagland debunking! Posner reveals the full details behind Hoagland's claims about his NASA "Advisor" position as well as his attempts to claim that he had designed that famous plaque sent on the first interstellar space flight. (Want to see the Hoagland-team response, calling Skeptical Inquirer a "pedantic, dirty little rag"? Head right here. It's kind of interesting the rhetoric they'll resort to in order to justify themselves....)
bulletMr. Hoagland would have you believe too that he's received a prestigious award relative to space matters. That Angstrom medal doesn't seem to be all he wants you to believe it is. Read about that here.

While the quantum physicist and the skeptic followed a strictly scientific approach in debunking Hoagland, others have been less objective - and FAR less gracious. In fact, there are several websites where folks have noted Mr. Hoagland's many inaccuracies and errors with more than just a bit of derision.

2002 Update: A Professor of Mathematics at the University of Washington in Seattle, USA has written to alert us to a web page he's created refuting Mr. Hoagland from a mathematical perspective. If you've ever studied math, you'll find this fascinating reading and you'll probably learn a lot in the process. For the mathematically challenged like myself, it sure looks impressive! 

We wonder, though: since his theories involve claims based so strongly on mathematics, why won't Mr. Hoagland debate with Professor Greenberg on this? Perhaps those calculations Mr. Hoagland uses don't have much basis in reality - or perhaps he'd rather challenge NASA instead and fill himself with pride when they ignore him?

You can see the Professor's web page right here. It's great! Oh, and don't miss his page of "Math for Poets" which you'll find here. Nothing to do with Hoagland but I really liked it and think that you will too.

On a page with the label "Hoaxland" there's a bunch of stuff and more links and on another page titled "Dick Hoaxland" there's even more. (Does anyone notice the repetition of the 'hoax' theme here?)  Want more? There used to be some stuff on Talkboy (a now defunct dot-com victim) where they questioned whether it's a hoax or insanity and on one of their pages (named "lunatic.htm") they had a bunch of his more bizarre quotes.... and Straight Dope laughingly derides the concept of 'man-in-mars' here.  Even the American Atheist sniffs at his claims in an article they have about Freemasonry here

We could verge on sarcasm and note that their Martian heritage will surely come as a great surprise to a group of 70-year old Masons who spend more time discussing whether there should be potato salad or egg salad at the next picnic and whether a donation of $1,000 or $1,500 should be sent to some charity.

Mr. Hoagland - whom we have already seen as a purveyor of laughable theories and cover-up of visitors from space building ancient pyramids - has now created a screed which implicates Masons in the Attack on America of September 11, 2001. With the Mars Lunar Lander daily providing photos which will eliminate his Martian cash cow, this new tack has the potential to propel his tape and book sales even further. Pitiful.

Mr. Hoagland quite enjoys numbers and their ostensibly occult connections: gematria.  He's fascinated by a bunch some specific ones in fact: 33, 19.5, 39, and now (quite conveniently after the Attack on America, it would seem) 11!  He - like so many internet denizens - used the number eleven to begin his screed against the Martian-inspired Masons. Let's see how he's done in this regard.

From his web page here (warning! graphics intensive & very slow loading): 
bulletThe attacks took place on 9/11
bullet9+1+1 = 11
bulletEach WTC tower had 110 floors, which is a multiple of 11
bulletThe second plane, United Airlines Flight 175, hit the World Trade Tower 1 at 9:02 AM. 9+2 = 11
bullet9/11 is the 254th day of the year. 2+5+4 = 11
bulletAfter 9/11, there are 111 days left in the year
bulletNew York City (where the major attack occurred) consists of 11 letters
bulletNew York was the 11th state admitted into the Union
bulletPresident Bush ordered flags to fly at half mast until 9/22, making an 11 day period of mourning

Of course, it's inconvenient to not mention the attack on Washington which had only ten letters (twelve if you count the D and the C) or that time of the first plane or other things which have nothing to do with the number eleven.

He also missed several other relevant 'coincidences' which have been bandied about on the internet:

bulletAfghanistan - 11 Letters
bulletThe Pentagon - 11 Letters
bulletRamzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted for orchestrating the attack at the World Trade Center in 1993)
bulletFlight 11, 92 on board: 9 + 2 = 11
bulletFlight 77, 65 on board: 6 + 5 = 11

Now that all sounds VERY ominous, doesn't it?  It does, of course, until you think about this internet response: 

Dave Pawson's response: (from an unknown source on the net)

Oh my God! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters in the name "David Pawson!" I'm going into hiding NOW. See you in a few weeks.  Wait a sec...just realized "YOU CAN'T HIDE" also has 11 letters! What am I gonna do? Help me!!! The terrorists are after me ME! I can't believe it!  Oh crap, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I could hide! But  no....  "PLANET EARTH" has 11 letters, too!  Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him? There are 11 letters in "NOSTRADAMUS."  I know, the Red Cross can help. No they can't...11 letters in "THE RED CROSS," can't trust them.  I would rely on self defense, but "SELF DEFENSE" has 11 letters in it, too!  Can someone help? Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don't..."SEND ME EMAIL" has 11 letters.... Will this never end? I'm going insane! "GOING INSANE???" Eleven letters!!  Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I'll die alone, even though "I'LL DIE ALONE" has 11 letters..... Oh my God, I just realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day is July 4th ... 7/4 ... 7+4!

P.S. "IT'S BULLXXXX" has 11 letters also. 

Of course, we also got to thinking about these strange coincidences involving numbers and letters:

Edward L King has 11 letters; the town we live in has 11 letters; masonicinfo has 11 letters; "I'd better run" has 11 letters....

Howling at Mars, perhaps?You see, it's all so very foolish. And it's from thinking like this that Mr. Hoagland derives his theories about Freemasonry and the organization's supposed use of such numbers. In fact, there's even some information from another source talking about Hoagland's heart attack in relation to his foolish attempts at gematria right here. <link inoperative as of 2/2002, regrettably>

In November 2003, we found a truly gut-busting site which proves beyond any reasonable doubt that it's the AMISH who're responsible for that face. We think you'll find the entire 'Beaver County Militia' site a hilarious one and will get a real laugh out of the face they found!

We trust that the above will prove enlightening when you consider the merit of Hoagland's claims. While we commend anyone who discovers new and inventive (and legal) ways of making a living, we find it despicable that it should be done on the death of thousands of people and by scapegoating an organization like Freemasonry....

Last updated November 27, 2003

 

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